I am on a path, exactly where i am meant to be right now. And from here, I can only go forward, shaping my life story into a magnificent tale of triumph, of healing of courage, of beauty, of wisdom, of power, of dignity, and of love.” My journey to self discovery, a gift and promise to myself.
I have started to attend spiritual gatherings/retreats held by the community I belong to in Johannesburg South Africa.
Release and healing was the beautiful gift I received from the retreat I recently attended. If you have ever experienced energy healing you will understand what I mean. The vibration going through my body in that very moment, one just knows what is happening. The power the release the awareness the calm that follow’s. #Goose bumps.
This morning I sit stunned by the realization that I’m different today because my new life has only now begun.
Over the past few months I have made huge changes to my personal life. So the change is obvious to those around me, yet today I sit here typing, with my heart wide open. When I sit quietly, I wait and listen, waiting for the noise in my head to start. Yet today it’s not there. Oh MY WORD, where is the noise. #Laughing the feeling of complete peace and love fills my entire body, so I cry again of course, these are tears of joy and gratitude – as I know now, I finally closed the door on my past. This is possible because of the lovely caring friends and community that surround me.
I am so grateful for my emotional roller coaster of a week, last week. It all made sense to me while at this gathering, I started to connect the dots, I call it divine intervention. I had to have that hard emotional week for a reason. A lot of old feelings and dark memories from my past seemed to bombard my mind during that week. After many conversations with myself along with self doubt and far too many tears shed. I could sit back and reflect on that emotional week and comfortably know in my heart, I had completed the work I needed to do that week already by facing those memories of the past. This is how powerful the universe is. My final release was completed at the ceremony. Burning the little boxes that have been a part of me for so long, the ones that were tightly sealed and packed down very deep in my soul the ones with all that muck and dirt in them, that muck and dirt will never haunt me ever again, they gone, burnt merely ashes swept away with the wind.
What a powerful and profound message.
Truth, honour, consideration, love and happiness is all I have in my heart now.
After my release I could finally take that first baby step and reconnect with my true self. That was reconnecting with my inner child. Tears turned to Sobs when I saw her for the first time. (surrounded by friends within my community to help me through this pain, along with trust and faith in God, I was able to accept her with grace and love once more.
My letter to my inner child.
To the child who grew up always saying “ I cant”
To the one who constantly felt she was never good enough
To the child that disappeared at a very young age
I love you
You are worthy
You are holy
Right now and forever
To the one who cried herself to sleep
To the child who knew she was loved, yet constantly felt alone
To the one I abused through substance abuse
I am sorry
I gently pick you up, off the floor
I look at your face and touch your blonde hair
I take you in my arms and hold you close
I wipe your tears, hush hush dear one
You are safe once more
I softly whisper in your ear “it’s time”
“Dear child open your eyes”
I promise to never leave you
I promise to nurture you
love and care for you
I promise to keep you safe
“Dear Child open your eyes”
The darkness is now filled with light and sunshine
“Dear Child open your eyes”
I am you, you are me we are one
Take my hand dear child
I promise to honour love and respect you once more.